Today is Friday, August 18, 2017

Back to school basics

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So, to help you out, Ive put together a list to help us get organized for the big day. I suggest working on this list a full week before school starts, but if you cant get to it until the night before, believe me, there will be no judgment here.

Clean Out Backpacks. If you are like me, they are still in the back of your car from the day they were last used. I consider cleaning out backpacks to be like Christmas in July! Thats because late July is usually the only time we clean out our backpacks and to our wonderment find the Christmas ornaments our children made for us located somewhere under the Cheez-Its and lost party invitations. (Spritz the bag with a little Febreeze good as new!)
Try On School Clothes. Wow! Thats all I can say about the fun that ensues forcing three children to spend the day with you, in their room, trying on clothes and organizing their closets, Well, thats not true, I could say other words but I think the paper will get fined if I write those words out.
Shop For School Supplies. To all my teacher friends who claim the list is not some inside joke put together as payback for my sending my kids to school with a slightly elevated temperature you are liars! Im on to you and your 2 inch, three prong binders with pockets THAT DONT EXIST!!!
Write Out Plan of Action, Put it on the Fridge, Refer to it Daily.

I will make school lunches every day, which may mean you are eating peanut butter sans jelly sandwiches and a stick of gum each Friday.

I will get you to school on time and pick you up on time or better yet, Ill have your Father take you to school and Ill pick you up. You get out around 3ish, right?

I will check your agenda book every day and will not have you forge my name to it on our way to school. (That is wrong!

I will not finish your last two math questions, because I need you to hurry up and get done with your homework before my shows come on. (Also wrong, butif need be, you may let this one slide.)

I will buy a magnet to put this list up on the fridge or Ill put this list on my desk and will remember its there and will not put other papers on the top of this list, because its a very important list, that I cant lose this time.

And so as Im writing my column this afternoon, Zoe is reading over my back.

You say you are going to do all those things every year and it only lasts a week, bemoans my obviously, disgruntled, middle child.

Oh wait I forgot #5.

5. Start Checking Into Boarding Schools. I hear they are very expensive but well worth the money!

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