“Supernanny” is a television show that comes on each Wednesday evening. In this reality show a British nanny comes into a different American household each week and in a few short days turns cursing, hitting, spitting American children into proper British subjects.

“Supernanny” is a television show that comes on each Wednesday evening. In this reality show a British nanny comes into a different American household each week and in a few short days turns cursing, hitting, spitting American children into proper British subjects. 

Right before Supernanny goes to commercial she usually gives the viewers a “quick parenting tip”. On the last episode I watched, her “quick tip” was as follows: parents the  next time you go to the grocery with your children, give each child their own grocery list and let the little children scurry around the grocery helping you pick out the items on their list. This will make the experience fun for you and them.

And with that, I was finally sure of something I had long suspected. Supernanny smokes crack. Probably daily.

I’ll give you a quick parenting tip on grocery shopping with your children. Don’t do it – ever! But being a realist, I know that sometimes the need to eat overcomes even the strongest of wills and a grocery trip with the kids becomes necessary.

And so as you park the car, you turn around and issue the first warning. Now we are going in here and everyone is going to stay by me, not run around, not beg me to buy anything and IF you are good I will buy you a treat.  They all nod as if this time they really are going to heed my warning. Then everyone promptly hops out of the vehicle, except for the youngest child, who has taken off his shoes and thrown them somewhere in the car.

So as you get on all fours trying to find the shoes somewhere under the seats, the other two shoot off across the parking lot and the fun begins. As the doors open…. they run to the cart with the big plastic red car attached to it. If you are like me you always say absolutely not – get out now. But by the time you get the words out, all three have belted themselves in and beg to please, please, please let us ride in it. So, like an idiot, you agree to push the 5-foot long cart around the store with three children hanging out of it turning plastic steering wheels instructing you to go faster.

Now what I love the most about these huge carts, is as fascinated as the children are when they first see it, within about three minutes of riding in the cart, they are tired of it and jump out. So there you are pushing a big red plastic car shopping cart without any children in it. 

And they are off……problem is, the world’s silliest grocery cart is practically impossible to steer. So by the time you finally catch up with them, the oldest child is holding three bags of Cheetos and a case of Red Bull, the middle one has two bags of Oreos and red lipstick and the little one is standing at the sampling food center telling the nice lady behind the counter that this is gross while making gagging noises.

Get back into this cart you scream.

You try to finish up your shopping in record speed, although it’s practically impossible to push three kids, a full load of groceries and make wide turns in the humongous cart, without literally running over other shoppers. Most people who pass by …..smile because they too have been there, others smile ….because they are not there anymore.  
 
Finally you get to the check out line. All three jump out and grab the treat that they insist they deserve because we were good. Put those back you screech. 

As you are checking out, the young teenager asks if you need help taking the groceries to the car. Ya’ think?

The drive home is silent because mommy has a headache and everybody is in big trouble.
 
As you finally haul in the last bag of groceries, your husband miraculously appears in the kitchen and starts rifling through the grocery bags. You got orange juice with pulp – you know I hate pulp. Guacamoleeeee … I hate guacamole.

I bet this is exactly how Supernanny’s crack addiction started.

Telling Tales 

Angel Kane and Becky Andrews live in Wilson County. This is their story (or tale) about their life, families and times that they share. Besides their weekly column Telling Tales Angel and Becky Co Founded Wilson Living Magazine. The idea of developing a magazine for Wilson County first came to Becky and Angel one afternoon while they sat on her back porch watching their children play in the backyard. 

They were discussing the outpouring of emails, calls and responses to their column “Telling Tales” and wanted to find a way to capture that community spirit. People were stopping them wherever they went to share their own “tales.” They suddenly realized everyone has a story to tell and many of these stories were amazing. And in that moment, Wilson Living Magazine came to life. Be sure to check out Wilson Living Magazine at www.wilsonlivingmagazine.com

You can read Angel and Becky's weekly column on-line at www.wilsonpost.com under the Style section.