They said it would rain. It did rain.

They said it would be windy. It was windy.

They did not say one word about it being dead calm some of the time and the rain ending and it getting almost warm toward hot. It did that. I have never much trusted weather forecasters. They are bad to lie.

However, they may just be more predictable than spring bass. You are not supposed to catch bass in early March on top water lures. When you do, is it a surprise? Well, you can bet your mother’s snuff stick it is. You can ask Yaller Dog.

They were calling for temps in the 70’s. I was just a tad skeptical because when we left my house it was raining and shivering chilly. By the time Luminous got the boat in the water, no small feat for him, it was warm. Seeing as how he cannot back his truck using mirrors and you can’t see out the back window of his truck, then add in Yaller Dog and well, you can see the problem. Bet your Aunt Edna’s darning egg, you can. As I said, it had done come warm.

And raining.

I own a good rain suit even though the pants and jacket do not match. I had it on and away we went, Luminous at the throttle, Yaller Dog’s ears blowing in the wind. His name is not really Luminous but he is so crazy he glows in the dark, hence the nickname. Chuck Wilson christened him that years ago. Fun to fish with, though. One of the things that make it fun is the Yaller Dog. He is Luminous’ constant companion and that is his name. I love him and does he love me? You can bet a pound of fried chicken gizzards he does.

I started out with a medium running crankbait in shad pattern. The third cast, I set the hook on a largemouth about three pounds. Not a bad start except when you lose her the second jump. A cast or two later, I stuck her twin. Lost her the second roll. Then, it quit raining and I did not get another hit for an hour. Luminous, addicted to his chartreuse and white spinner bait did not get a strike. Was he upset? Well I hope to shout he was not. He never has cared if he caught anything or not. Made no more difference to him than when he got his head shaved. Yaller Dog is a bit ambivalent his ownself. You can bet a half-pinch of snuff on that.

It quit raining and the water got slick as a mirror. It also got warm enough for me to shed my rain gear. It does that sometimes the weather and the sun about halfway came out. For another hour, nothing and I kept experimenting with lures. Luminous, he stuck with his spinner bait and continued to get the same results. Was he content with that? Well I hope to smile he was. And Yaller Dog, well, he was happy just to sit back and lick his …paws.

However, we had decided to call it an afternoon and head in cause my wrist was starting to hurt. For grins and giggles, we decided to fish the long pocket on the left going in. The one with duck blind in it where I have caught several fish and that is just an estimate, you can bet an old double edge razor blade that is so.

Out in front of the duck blind, just for a laugh, I tied on a Devil Horse…a large top water lure. I chunked it up tight against the bank in about a foot of water. One twitch and Kerb-Bloom! A vicious strike from a 1.5-pounder.

Now that aint supposed to happen. You are not supposed to catch bass on a top water, prop bait in a foot of water in early March. Not in TN. You can bet Uncle Jim Bob’s truss on that. I can see it maybe even expect it in AL. However, not on Old Chickory. Even the Yaller Dog was surprised and he is some hard to surprise. Luminous, he changes lures to something blue. Does he know what it is? You can bet Netty’s bra he don’t but it is about as opposite from a top water bait as you can get.

To further muddy the water so to speak, the sun comes out and Luminous, he sets the hook on a good fish. On a blue-looking jig in a foot of water around some dead stuff on the point by the duck blind where I have never had a strike. Then, in keeping with his reputation, he just about falls out of the boat trying to lip it. Typical Luminous. Thought it was as funny as when his dog ate his wife’s panty hose and could not quite get past it...if you get my meaning. I heard the vet bill was some and then some. Of course, the Yaller Dog grinned at the whole thing.

I had not fished with Luminous in several years. He has been busy fiddling with engines for racecars and shooting truckloads of ducks.

Now that he has retired, or as he puts it, quit working, maybe he will have a little more time for fishing. He was even talking about a three-day jaunt to Central Hill later this year.

Since he is a yardstick past rich as well as crazy, I will probably go. So, anyway, we piddled around a while longer catching nothing and it started raining again and we went home.

The weather and the fish were just about what you expect this time of year. But does it beat a root canal? Why can bet a coffee grinder it does.

Don’t Dr. Bruce that. Even dentists have fillings.

JOHN L. SLOAN / This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it