My Arrogant Ways

By ANGEL KANE

Wilson Living Magazine

My husband says being late is a sign of arrogance

I think he says that because he knows that I’m better than him

Being late is a family trait…on my side of the family. My family is from the old country, so when somebody says “Be there at 7”, I was raised to believe 7 was merely a suggestion.

It’s as if they’re saying, “We suggest you come at 7, but really at 7 we will barely be ready, so in all honesty, we prefer you come at 7:45.”

Brody on the other hand, would like to be in their driveway at 6:58, so that we can ring their doorbell promptly at 7.

As you can imagine since I have to live with his man, on a daily basis now, going on 18 years, this is turning into a problem.

At first it really didn’t bother me. I mean, what’s he going to do, drive off without me? (Being  completely nuts is another family trait …so he knows better than to take that option.)

Instead, he stands over me. Right over me.

Pacing back and forth…back and forth…and back and forth…

“Are you ready?”

“Let’s go.”

“You always make us late.”

“Geez, get the rollers out of your hair, we should have been there by now.”

“I’m going to the car.”

“Do not change your clothes again.”

“Really, really, you are changing again? I’m just going to sit in the car until you are ready!”

And then he honks. Two short ones. To test me. 

And then he honks again…the long kind!

(Using words in ways others may not think they can be used, comes from my Mother’s side….) So when he gets to the long honk, my children flee the scene.

And this is where the problem has really found footing.

It would appear, these children of mine, these children that I carried in my womb for 9 plus months, who have given me stretch marks, grey hairs and sleepless nights, who have depleted every bank account I ever wished to have…these children of mine…have inherited their Daddy’s punctuality gene.

To the point, that I now have four people menacing me as I try to get ready.

“Mama, hurry up, we can’t be late for school again.”

“Oh my God, you are not painting your nails right now!”

“We need to leave now, or I’ll miss the beginning of the movie!”

“Pleaaaaseeee can we go?! The game starts in five minutes and it takes us 15 minutes to get there.”

“Daddy, can we just leave her.”

Seriously, given the conditions under which I now live, the fact that I don’t drink and do pills is a miracle!

So on Friday night, everyone was anxiously pacing.

Madison had the ACT test Saturday morning and had to be there at 7:30. Brody had to be in Smyrna with Neill at 7.

All eyes were on me…judging me. 

Yes, of course, I got her there on time. (I figured the ACT people weren’t going to buy my “old country” garbage.)

Only to find out, when we got there, ON TIME, she had forgotten her I.D.

And she doesn’t get that from my side either!

To read more of Angel & Becky’s columns go to www.wilsonpost.com and hit Blogs.