By Angel Kane
Wilson Living Magazine
As I was walking towards the kitchen last Saturday, I heard my dear husband, Brody, speaking in a rather loud voice. And anyone who knows Brody knows he pretty much never raises his voice, so, this intrigued me. As I walked from the den through to the kitchen, I stopped.
Brody was holding Court.
He was standing and our two girls were sitting at the kitchen table, arms crossed. In his hand, he was holding ….Exhibit A.
It seemed the girls (the Defendants) were on trial and Brody was cross-examining them …in his outside voice.
“Would you agree I am the tallest person in the house? And therefore, I have the biggest foot.”
He pointed to Exhibit A, a black dress sock.
(I decided to stand back…as this was going to be good. The only thing missing from thisJudge Judy episode was some good, buttery popcorn.)
The Defendants chose to remain silent and instead gave him the …are you kidding me, I got my phone taken up for this …look.
“Is that a YES or NO?” (Again using his outside voice.) Apparently, in Brody’s Court no one is allowed to take the 5th.
“And sit up!”
Both immediately sat up and grudgingly agreed he had the biggest foot.
“If I have the biggest foot, then one should reasonably conclude I should have the biggest socks in my sock drawer, right?”
Again, the girls looked at him quizzically. Not sure if they should respond, make a run for it or call 911 to have him committed.
“I am asking an easy question here – what is the answer?”
Both in unison agreed that Yes, theoretically he should have the largest socks in his drawer.
“Then someone tell me why, WHY every sock in my drawer fits a 9 year old boy or your mother?”
It was his Perry Mason moment – the AHA! YOU ARE GUILTY QUESTION!
Both Defendants squirmed and then immediately ratted each other out.
“I fold and
is supposed to put up the clothes, I can’t help where she puts them.”
“That’s not true, I put up everything but socks, that is the one thing you are supposed to do Zoe!”
Neither was about to go down for this crime. And the Judge, by now, had lost his mind!
He pronounced his verdict…in an outside …. I’m in the middle of nowhere and need to scream really loudly so someone can find me…voice
“If I ever find a sock in my drawer again that belongs to anyone other than me, I am taking away your phones, computers, and I-pads for a month!”
With that he threw down Exhibit A and left the room. Seriously, John Grisham couldn’t have written the scene any better.
And somebody is a happy guy these days, all the socks in his drawer fit and his teenage daughters think he is completely nuts – which keeps everybody in line.
The Justice system…working at its best!
To read more of Angel and Becky’s columns go to www.wilsonpost.com and hit Blogs.