Today is Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Dont look now, but theres a great joke about algebra close to the end

Share: 
  Email   Print
Related Articles


Our QP of T (Question Person of Today) is inquiring about a rule more broken than correctly observed. The rule, which is the same for dates which include month, day, and year, is that all elements are separated from the rest of the sentence. (When locations and dates occur at the end of a sentence the end mark of punctuation is sufficient.) The rest of the time a comma is needed between the elements of a date or location and after them. EXAMPLES. (Borrowing from QP of T) John was born in Lebanon, Tennessee, in 1975. Our country remembers September 11, 2001, with grief for the lost and pride for the brave.


BACKUP FROM GRAMMAR BOOK.COM. Rule 5a Use a comma to separate the day of the month from the year and after the year. Example: Kathleen met her husband on December 5, 2003, in Mill Valley, California.


Rule 5b If any part of the date is omitted, leave out the comma. Example: They met in December 2003 in Mill Valley.


Rule 6 Use a comma to separate the city from the state and after the state in a document. If you use the two-letter capitalized form of a state in a document, you do not need a comma after the state. NOTE: With addresses on envelopes mailed via the post office, do not use any punctuation. Examples: I lived in San Francisco, California, for 20 years. I lived in San Francisco, CA for 20 years.


MY ADDITION TO BACKUP, Rule 6. It is not wrong to use a comma after the two-letter capitalized form of a state.


ONLINE DEPARTMENT Advice to an Old Man (Thanks, P.K.) I was working out in the gym when I spotted this sweet young thing. I asked a trainer who was near-by, "What machine should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?" The trainer looked at me and said, The ATM in the lobby


Getting Older (Thanks, P.K.) ? A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. Is it true, she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life? Yes, I'm afraid so, the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked NO REFILLS. ? An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. Yes, Dad, what is it? Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife. ? The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. ? When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.* ? You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.


One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. ? Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around a large chain store when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. The young guy says, That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. The old guy says, Maybe I can help you find her; what does she look like? The young guy says, Well, she is 27, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, really well built, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like? To which the old guy says, Doesn't matter, let's look for yours.


FloridaSenior Ads (Thanks, P.W. & A.A.)You can say what you want about Florida , but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north. FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus. LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem. SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times. WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy. BEATLES OR STONES?I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes. MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together. MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Not in running condition, but walks well.


*Note on Facebook (Thanks, M.R.) Dear Algebra, Stop asking me to find your X. Shes not coming back. We dont know Y either.


BW (Bigtime Word) jussive describing a command, usually a mild one. Most modern children seemed to think any commands are mild and to be obeyed mildly. Why cant we channel General George S. Patton?

Read more from:
Guest Column
Tags: 
None
  Email   Print
Powered by Bondware
News Publishing Software