Today is Sunday, August 20, 2017

Elvin’s reality show

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This may be how Elvin got his start. They may be cute and cuddly at this age but they can dang sure kill you a couple years later.

Elvin was confused. No, Elvin was scared. No, to be totally honest, Elvin was terrified.
The bear, later estimated to be between 9.5 and 10-feet tall and weighing about 1,000-pounds was neither of the three. He was hungry.
Elvin did as most would do. He screamed like a girl and ran as fast as his legs would carry him. He must have covered quite a bit of territory because they later found one of his legs or part of one, some half-mile away.
It was said, you could have buried Elvin in a shoe box and perhaps they did. I do not know. I do know it was the sudden end to Elvin feeding bears on the Peninsula or anywhere else. He also quit sniveling and whining about how they should be protected from all hunting and how gentle they really were.
In fact, it was the end of Elvin. This is true. That is what happened. I did change the name. Kodiak bears are dangerous. That is a fact. So, they made a television show about hunting them.
There is show on television called “The Hunt”. I think it is on the History Channel but I am not 100% positive of that. I have seen all the episodes so far . . . I think. It is about different people who go bear hunting on Kodiak Island in Alaska. It is purported to be true reality. To some extent, I guess it is.
When the show was promoted, I had high hopes for it. I hoped it would truly be a reality show and show hunting in general and bear hunting on Kodiak as it really is. As usual, I was disappointed. By the time they quit editing, dramatizing, adding horribly loud music and sequeing at the worst places, the show became much like all the other reality hunting shows. Junk.
That is not to say the general content was not true and factual. It was. It was just so badly slanted and dramatized it got sickening . . . at least it did to me.
Kodiak bears are dangerous. That is fact. If it were possible, you could ask Elvin. They fear no living land mammal on Kodiak with the possible exception of humans and to tell the truth, they are not too afraid of them. And, left alone and to their own devices, they will overpopulate. The large, mature boars, as with all bear, will kill and eat the cubs. Those are facts. Perhaps it should also be mentioned, the hunting of them brings in considerable revenue and is physically demanding, mostly due to weather. They factually portray all of that except the part about the cost.
Now. Let us examine just one segment in which a young lady hunts and kills a bear with a muzzle loading rifle.
(1) She starts out with her father. Then, the father, for reasons unknown, has to leave. He flies out, leaving young daughter alone with her malfunctioning, due to bad weather, muzzle loading rifle.
(2) She finally kills a bear which eventually falls dead in a creek.
(3) Next we see the fully skinned bear, packed out and ready to be flown out.
I’ll take them in order.
At the cost of flying up there, dad aint going to do that even if he did dislike his daughter enough to leave her alone, camped in a tent in bear country with a wet powder charge.
(2) Although we did not see her actually shoot the bear, she did shoot and the bear did end up dead after a lengthy trailing job during which we saw no blood trail.
(3) A young girl or three healthy men are not going to get a wet, 750-pound bear up out of a creek and for sure no girl, young or old, is going to skin and pack one out by herself when you include her equipment. The bear hide and head would weigh about 100-pounds by itself.
So, of course we know a camera-person was there but in addition, we must conclude she was anything but by herself. So why lie? Obvious answer-to make a better story. That is not reality. Why am I not surprised? Oh, did I mention all the fake bear growls they edited in?
That is just a sample. Every segment of every show was far from reality when it got right down to it. Here is one more example. Guy, who happens to be an Alaska resident, takes his wife on a hunt. He has never skinned a bear. She has never killed a bear or anything else. He takes only the bullets in his rifle, no extras and even though he is a diabetic, no medicine or enough water.
She shoots a bear at 75-yards. Bad shot, bear charges, (so it said although I could not swear to it). They both empty their guns -- his in the air, I think. He is out of ammo, she has three left. They find the bear. About 20-hours later, bear is skinned and they are both dehydrated and hungry. He is now, instead of running like Elvin for his water and medicine, going to pack everything out while fighting off all sorts of medical issues. En route, he drinks out of stagnant pond.
The guy is an Alaska resident, supposed to be an experienced hunter. Either that is a lie or he is some special kind of stupid. No extra ammo! Give me a break. I don’t even hunt on Horn Springs Road without extra bullets.
Now, it just so happens, I kinda know this last guy. I emailed him with some questions. Guess what? Turns out, he had an additional 20-bullets, the cameraman had plenty of water, the bear did “sorta” charge, kinda and his diabetes is well under control.
These are just two examples. So folks, that is reality hunting on television and that is why I don’t like it.

Contact John L. Sloan at --

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