Today is Sunday, August 20, 2017

I confess

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My name is Angel Kane. I am 43 years old, I have brown hair and brown eyes, I am five foot three inches tall, at some point in my life I weighed 110 pounds, and I...am on Facebook.

I am one of those people who posts photos of my kids, my dog and my Christmas tree. I am also one of those people who goes through your FB photos looking at your house, your parties and your Christmas tree. And I am taking a stand for all the rest of you out there...who do the same. Because there are three types of people in this world - (1) those on Facebook, (2) those on Facebook via the use of someone else's password, and (3) those not on Facebook.

As a spokesperson for Group 1, I fully admit 30% of Group 1 is made up of idiots. They are the ones who post photos of their affairs, give status updates as crimes are being committed, and enjoy maligning people via, not so veiled, soap box rants. I apologize for them. But as my Grandmother used to say "you can't fix stupid, even with duct tape." And with the advent of FB, boy was she right!

My Dad is in Group 2. He knows everything that is going on in everybody else's life via my Mother's FB password. More so than even those in Group 1, Group 2 finds FB to be a tool to investigate and report back. Dad is the first to know when a cousin is engaged, gets a new job or is expecting a baby. He is also the first to let me know when their child is posting inappropriate comments. Ever since FB came along, he is enjoying retirement much, much more...although my teenagers are not too pleased that he (as Granny) is now following them on twitter as well.

And then there is Group 3 - they are the ones who like to shout from the mountain top ..."I am NOT on Facebook. I have better things to do with my time." "Really? Like what?" ... is what I want to say. But don't. Instead I nod and then feel bad about myself and the photo I just posted on FB of my dog in bunny ears with the words "Happy Easter" written just below. While I'll admit some in Group 3 are not on FB, simply because the technology can be a little overwhelming, the remainder of Group 3 likes to remind the rest of us that their lives are too fulfilling, important and busy to be partaking in such frivolity.

And maybe so.

Just maybe...they are leading these amazing lives, in beautiful homes, filled with family get togethers, homemade chocolate bunny cakes and Easter egg hunts on the front lawn where their very smart child is always the one who finds the golden egg. And maybe, on their front door there is a sign that says "no pictures please and never tell anyone you were here, that you know me or that we were ever together doing anything."

But until I see that sign posted on FB by someone they know, I'll continue to enjoy my sinful treat called Facebook and waste minutes of my life posing my dog in costumes of the season.

Because the truth of that matter is if your life were really as great as you profess, surely someone you know would have tagged you in a Facebook photo by now.

To read more of Angel Kane's and Becky Andrew's articles go to www.wilsonpost.com

or www.wilsonlivingmagazine.com.

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