Today is Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Telling Tales: Snow-mageddon Part 2

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With Snow-mageddon- Part 2 finally behind us and spring looking like it's here to stay, I did what many of you probably did this weekend. I broke out the summer wear.

And somehow between October and March, it all shrunk!

One too many lattes and five too many snow days, and now nothing fits.

Don't get me wrong, gorging on salt and vinegar chips, chocolate covered Oreos and six seasons of "Parks and Recreation" was a fun stay-cation, but reality has now hit. And because yoga pants are not proper work attire, I've got a slight problem.

So the diet begins now! Given I've done this about 1,000 times in my life I've got this down pat.

1. Drink a gallon of water a day.

2. Throw in some sliced lemons to show the world you are a pro at this.

3. Give up anything that tastes even somewhat good.

4. Instead eat things that don't taste good.

5. And don't eat too many of those things, either!

6. Move all the clothes off the treadmill.

7. Walk on it.

8. Walk faster. It's a known fact that strolling while watching "House Hunters" melts away the pounds.

9. Tell everyone you know you're dieting. It's a known fact that telling everyone around you what awful, tasteless food you've already eaten or plan to eat, will undoubtedly cause you to lose weight that much faster!

10. Try Atkins one day, Weight Watchers the next and Master Cleanse when all else fails.

11. One sip of Master Cleanse and no sugar, no wheat, no dairy now sounds completely doable.

12. Buy a fitness app for your phone, plug in all the numbers, never use it again.

13. Salmon, nuts, eggs, leafy greens and black coffee are no way to live.

14. Insist everyone in your home eat salmon, nuts, eggs, leafy greens and black coffee.

15. "Insist" means throw away all their treats and snacks while they're at school or work.

16. Sneak a bag of M&M's really, really fast because they're really, really good.

17. Chastise hubby when you see him cheating. Let him off the hook only if he splits his Butterfinger with you.

18. Wear you baseball cap when exercising. Everyone knows you burn more calories the more athletically you dress.

19. Google "How to Lose Ten Pounds In Ten Days" just in case someone has found a revolutionary new diet trick since the last time you Googled it.

20. Go to bed hungry, wake up hungry and in between... be hungry.

And before you know it, summer will be here and you can try this diet for real. Because it's a known fact only the threat of wearing a swimsuit in public is a reason to diet.

To read more of Angel & Becky's column go to www.wilsonlivingmagazine.com.

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