Today is Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Turkeys & other things that gobble

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I just might go

Turkey season opens for adults this Saturday, March 29.
The kids had a shot at it last weekend. Adults can kill one gobbler a day up to a total of four for the season. A bearded hen is legal as are bearded birds of any color configuration.
Don’t hunt over bait and don’t swap tags; hunt right. I might go, I ain't decided yet.
See, back about 30-years ago, down in Humphries County, I had me a climbing stand on a tree up on a ridge overlooking a lake. Well, before daylight the next morning, while it was still dark as the inside of a housecat, I climbed the ridge. Once I had caught my breath, I commenced to climb the tree.
That was when a flying, gobbling monster attacked me. Only my supreme agility saved me.
I was about three pulls up the tree, maybe six feet when the tree commenced to shakin and bark was raining down on me and there was the most God-awful racket comin from right up above me.
I knew it was the monster of Grandmother Holler tryin to get at me. It may have slipped my mind that I was six feet off the ground when I kicked my feet loose and dove off the side of the tree. Luckily, I majored in tuck and roll during my rodeo days and I escaped with a few mild fractures.
See, what it was, was a gobbler done roosted up in the top of the tree and he thought I was tryin to get at him. So, he dove out a’hollerin about the same time I did. Wasn’t many turkeys down there back then and I never gave them a thought.
Plenty of turkeys now. Just about every backyard has at least one. If I want to, I can go kill one and be home by 8:30. Don’t know if I will go or not. Not mad at them anymore and do not eat them.
I went a couple days ago and checked, just in case I decided to go. I saw five different longbeards in less than 20-acres of looking. I know where they roost and I know where they will fly down. Fact is, should I want to, I could sit in one of my treestands and have a 25-yard shot.
Now Reflector, Ole Ronnie Denny, he is going and might take his daughter.
I know for certain, Carroll Whitener and First Lady, Betty are going. Big Bird will probably go. Jimmy Sloan, en Josh Norman, Ken Nelson, Jr. and wife, Samantha, probably will all go.
And I will tell ya'll, if it is 70-degrees and not raining, I might go. I killed me a gobbulator once or twice.
I might just go join Professor Rick down by Watertown and help him with his turkey problem.
Hey, y’all hunt safe. Be dang sure of your target…make sure it is a turkey.
A lot of people get shot by accident during turkey season. I reckon it is an accident.
Truth is, ever since that monster like to got me, I ain't cared much for turkeys.

Contact John L. Sloan at --

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